Gifts

When Hanes asked us to share an uncomfortable holiday moment, it was hard to pick just one! Somehow the holidays are rife with awkward and embarrassing moments. To us, though, there is none more embarrassing than when a friend, coworker or acquaintance gives you an unexpected gift. Sure, it's the thought that counts, but the uncomfortable feeling of not having a gift to give in return takes all the fun out of the moment.

What to do? We've gotten smart over the past few years and now keep a stash of generic, unisex gifts in our house, desk drawer and car. So the next time an unexpected gift is handed to us, we can joyously say, "Oh, I've got a little something for you too!" as we hand over a wrapped scented candle or bottle of wine. Whew, uncomfortable moment avoided!

Philosophy The Winter Escape $25 - Sephora

Voluspa Seasons Fleurs de Fete 3 Wick Candle Tin $18 - b-glowing

THERE Indian Champa Diffuser or Candle $14 - World Market

Q. I’m very excited to celebrate not only a first anniversary, but also Christmas this year with my husband. We got married a few days after Christmas last year.  I’ve got an idea for both a gift  (new snowboard and boots) and a getaway trip (snowbound for three days to snowboard and sit by a fire and snuggle), but I’m nervous he’ll find out. He’s quite the snoop when he thinks there’s a gift coming his way.  It’s adorable, but I really want to surprise him. Any ideas?
-No Show No Tell

A. I’m assuming you probably have both joint and separate bank accounts. So first, pay for the gift with cash if you can so there’s no credit card bill that screams "Bob’s Ski Chalet" on the list of payments. Wrap the gift and securely hide it at a nearby friend's or parents' house until the day before Christmas. And be sure to figure out where you want to hide it once you pick it up from the off-site locale. Perhaps keep it in your car trunk under a blanket the night before and then pull it out when it’s time to actually give him the gift. As for the trip, if you can just put the reservations on hold with a credit card, then it shouldn’t show up on your bill. Ask the place where you are spending your anniversary to not send anything in the mail and instead email you. Print out email confirmations and then delete.  You can give the gift of the trip in a nice big stocking or basket filled with a few things you’ll need for your trip such as sunscreen, cashmere or wool sport socks, new gloves, a bottle of good wine and decadent hot chocolate (I love Vosges - vosgeschocolate.com) plus details of the trip written in a nice card.  After he knows about the great trip, then go get the snowboard and boots as the extra terrific gift. 

Since we’re on the topic of shopping and helpful ways of hiding purchases, you may want to detail your confession for ShopandConfess.com. They are holding a contest where you can submit a short, self-produced YouTube video telling your shopping story and you’ll have a chance to win $1,000 or possibly $20,000. Just do it by November 26th. (And by the way, I'm one of the judges!)

Q. This may not be your bailiwick because it is a hybrid question that crosses over from style to relationship.  I have been seeing a woman for about a year now.  Due to the disparity in our ages (23 yrs.), I refuse to be involved more than just dating and am clear about my availability.  When she travels, she always brings me a little something.  I was in Santa Fe on business and brought her an inexpensive liquid silver necklace ($60).  You would have thought that I brought her a 3k diamond.  Now I need to get her something for her birthday (27th), I would like to get her something nice, preferably jewelry, but don't want to send any message other than I enjoy her company.
-Guy and Younger Girl

A. Having had romance, love, liars and cheats, I can take on the role of style and relationship expertise for your answer. I think your soon-to-be 27 year old has been sticking around believing and hoping that your “dating” has turned into more of a commitment. While you made it clear early in your dating that you did not want a relationship due to your age difference, she probably needs a refresher course. She’s probably a great girl who has treated you well and thinks of you often, as is obvious with her consistent gift giving. But it is apparent that you are only offering her morsels of attention when she deserves a full banquet.

Perhaps you give her a grand gift like sending her and a friend off on an all expense paid spa weekend (spafinder.com) and let her know that you are setting her free to find someone closer in age that will give her a chance at true love, perhaps marriage, and maybe a family.  A man that wants to travel the world with her or plant a garden and barbeque in the backyard they share. A weekend away with a friend will give her a chance to vent, release and relax without a bill at the end. She’ll walk away with clean skin, polished nails and a pampered body to start anew. Pair the gift with a heartfelt note about her best qualities and how lucky you have been to know her.

If you are direct with your “only dating on your availability” and she still chooses to stay, then I presume you’ve also made it clear that when a good man comes along and asks her on a date, she should go since you have a no-strings attached affair.

No spa grand gift? Don’t wimp out and buy a gift that carries no meaning or barely cost you a hundred bucks. Does she have a lovely apartment or home? Why not choose photographic artwork and have it framed to add décor to her home. Jewelry is always a safe and memorable gift, but this time, choose real gold in a style that is simple and sophisticated. Or how about a stunning pair of expensive heels that she’s been coveting but would never fork over the cash for. Get her an appointment with a personal shopper at a department store (it’s free) and give her a gift card for $500 or more bucks to spend with the help of the personal shopper so she can get the benefits of the shopper’s talents of finding what she wants in her size.  As long as you are honest, your gift can be exuberant, lovely, and expressive in its meaning that you appreciate her.

Some of my favorites:

UNDER $200

1. Satya Jewelry aquamarine relief lotus necklace, $158 at satyajewelry.com
2. 18k Gold Circle Pendant, $150 at bluenile.com
3. Kevia Tulip Shaped Rococo Hoop Earrings, $138 at blueluxe.com

$200-$300

4. Tiffini Dooris Luna Necklace, $228 at tiffinidooris.com
5. Julie Sandlau Mint Crystal and Cubic Zirconia Circle Earrings, $224 at blueluxe.com
6. Julie Sandlau Champagne Zirconia Circular Chandelier Earrings, $211 at blueluxe.com

$300 & UP

5. Anna Beck Large Teardrop Pendant Necklace, $398 at nordstrom.com
6. Quinn's Tulip Small Disc Diamond Earrings, $413 at blueluxe.com
7. 18K Gold Ginko Leaf Pendants by DeanBurke, $300 at vivre.com

Q. My older sister is a new mom who is turning 35 next month around the same time her son is turning 1- she just moved into a new house and stopped working at the end of last year. She used to be a true fashionista but has since fallen off the wagon being a new mom. She needs a pick me up and I would like do to something fun for her for her birthday-- any suggestions on some fun mom trends to give her a little pick me up?
-Gift seeker

A. Time to take your sister out without the baby so she can relax and just be herself. Take her out for a girl date, whether it’s lunch or afternoon tea, or a night out for dinner and a performance like dance , music or comedy - get the girl laughing! You can also suggest dinner at someone’s house with just women and no kids, boyfriends or husbands.

As for gifts, I suggest a department store gift card and you take her shopping to use it, and maybe even set up an appointment with a personal shopper - they don’t cost a thing at department stores and will make her feel pampered and special. If you want to give her something more tangible, then I suggest mom-friendly wedges or ballet flats in a pattern or patent leather, a big bag that doesn’t scream “Mom” or a pretty necklace.

Here’s a few picks:

Cayman braided espadrilles, $160 at jcrew.com; Boutique 58 Melody, $110 at piperlime.com; Lisette printed-fabric ballet flats, $118 at jcrew.com; Straw Tote with Beading, $128 at bloomingdales.com

Choose a necklace with a yoga symbol or one with a meaningful word that reminds her to breathe, believe or know what comes around goes around. These from Haley Mindes and Helen Ficalora are incredibly stylish and addictive. Beth (a fellow StyleBakery.com style chef and also a mom) and I live in ours.

Q. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for a birthday gift for my boyfriend of a month. He is eighteen and I want to get him something that he'll really appreciate but nothing too over the top. 

A. A month is such a short time to consider anything over the top and you are still a teenager, so money is probably tight.  How about dinner at a place that he'll enjoy and an activity like bowling or billiards and darts?  Remember, most guys don’t want to feel stiff in a fancy restaurant when they’d rather wear their jeans. Or, if you have a little extra cash, then get him the Ipod shuffle for $79 and skip the activity and order in pizza, his favorite DVDs (those action flicks) and bake him a cake.