Weddings

Q. I have been so inspired by all of your bridesmaid tips. I am narrowing down bridesmaid dress choices for my wedding next April. I think the silk chiffon Sophia dress by J Crew in bright aquamarine or maybe tulip - (haven't decided) is most likely the dress I'll go with, since it seems to be pretty flattering for the body types of all my bridesmaids and it's a good price, to boot. The question that remains is shoes! I am considering letting the girls choose their own, but I'd like to give them a color to make them look somewhat uniform. Bad idea? I'm thinking gold or silver... any suggestions? I love the look of a d'orsay heel, but I'm not sure if that will be appropriate for a springtime, late-afternoon wedding (indoors). Please advise! Thank you!
- Shoe Clueless

A. For either dress, gold or silver will work and as I've said in the past, it's a help to your bridesmaids cash flow to offer them the opportunity to buy their own shoes in your color of choice. They may already own one of these metallic colors and if not, a metallic heel is certainly a must-have in a girl's shoe closet. I've found a few options that will work with the dresses once you make your color choice. While d'orsay heels are stylish enough for indoors or outdoors, they are not so readily available in multiple choices of metallic as sandals are each season. So perhaps keep the options open.

1. Matisse 'Elvey' Pump, $114.95 at nordstrom.com
2. Liza patterned d'Orsays, $195 at jcrew.com

3. Charles by Charles David 'Pandora' Metallic Sandal, $66.90 (sale) at nordstrom.com
4. Lucie high heels, $168 at jcrew.com
5. Caparros Jalena, $65 at piperlime.com

Q. I recently got engaged and will be planning a wedding on the beach. Do you think black is an appropriate color for a bridesmaid's dress for a beach wedding?
-Hot Color  

A. I would probably choose a color to keep the look cheerful since black can make you feel even hotter in the sun. It seems to attract and "suck" up the heat. If you choose black, then opt for a dress that looks more like a sundress or choose cotton and brighten the arrangement of flowers or keep it very simple and contemporary with a white floral bouquet.

Q. I have been asked to be a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding this coming August. Instead of selecting a specific bridesmaid's dress, the bride said that we can wear any dress, as long as it's navy. I am having a terrible time deciding on a style and finding the perfect dress. The bride's dress is quite fancy, but the guys are just wearing khakis and blue blazers. And it's an August outdoor wedding, so it will most likely be HOT.
-Navy Ne'er Do Well  

A. Hey, high five to you. Three cheers, make that an ovation to the bride to be. I wish you could see my jubilant face right now and you'd probably feel a little more confident. You have been given the great "gift" of not having to conform to a long list of bride's wishes and demands and you'll save yourself some money or at least the anguish of stashing the dress in the back of your closet after the wedding is over. Navy is super chic and I've fallen in love with it lately as a substitute to black. The dress doesn't have to be long-YEAH! Since the guys are wearing the classic prep look of blue blazers and khakis you just need to find a cocktail length dress that can possibly take you from the wedding to a Saturday night dinner party some other time. These fabulous dresses should keep you looking cool.

1. Donna Ricco Stretch Satin Halter Dress, $158 at nordstrom.com
2. Jones New York Dress Bateau Neck Silk Dress, $180 at nordstrom.com
3. MARC BY MARC JACOBS 'Kitty' Strapless Dress, $448 at nordstrom.com
4. David Meister One Shoulder Sheath Dress, $306 at nordstrom.com 

5. JS Boutique Embellished Matte Jersey Halter Dress, $158 at nordstrom.com
6. Tiered Layered Strapless Cocktail Dresses by BCBG MAXAZRIA, $320 at edressme.com
7. Sophia short silk dress, $195 at jcrew.com
8. Silk tricotine Jenelle short dress, $195 at jcrew.com 

Q. I just picked out the most beautiful Lazaro bridesmaid dress in champagne. The only problem is: I have no idea how to accessorize them. Just earrings or a necklace as well? What color shoes? Any suggestions? -Accessory Challenged  

A. Feel free to choose between earrings and a necklace or choose both, but please don't buy one of those matching sets of earrings and necklace. Do you really need the bridesmaids to wear exactly the same jewelry? If you're concerned about their taste level, then suggest they wear earrings of their own choice, but nothing too big or over the top and skip a necklace, which may distract from the dress. Unless you intend to buy your bridesmaids the jewelry to go with the dress, remember it can become a big expense to buy the dress, jewelry and shoes that you expect them to wear. As for shoes, something strappy or a high-heeled sling back. I like a champagne, pale gold or sophisticated cream heel.

Q. I have been searching for answers all over the internet, and I came across your page. I am attending my fiance's sister's wedding in a month and we are part of the wedding party. We will be attending the rehearsal dinner, and I am not sure what to wear. In order to complement what my fiance is wearing, I came across an ivory colored dress. Is that inappropriate to wear to the rehearsal dinner? The day of the wedding I am wearing blue, and I don't want to wear blue again the night before. Help! What are the dress rules for the rehearsal dinner and also for the brunch the morning after the wedding?
-Ivory Intimidation

A. As long as you're not wearing a competing white or ivory the day of the wedding, then feel free to wear the ivory dress to the rehearsal dinner. There should be no expectation to wear blue the night before to match the day of the wedding as well.

Q. I'm getting married in June. My fiance is Indian and my family is of Scandinavian descent. To capture both of our cultures and personalities we are having a wedding focusing around pinks, greens, metallics, and adding paisley and embroidered elements which are very prominent in both themes. We are having a garden style wedding with our siblings as our honored attendants. We are keeping it really simple yet elegant (and inexpensive). I'm wearing a traditional white dress, my fiance is wearing a black traditional Indian outfit and our sisters are wearing black dresses and pink Pashminas. Our question: What should we have our brothers wear that would be very informal but classy? I was thinking of either a white shirt with a black tie or an Indian-style white shirt with light embroidery and a Nehru collar (which we cannot find anywhere!). Do you have ideas or suggestions?
-Culture Combination

A. A white button down shirt and tie is just fine, but have the men wear a tie in a color from the wedding to keep the colors bright and fun. I like the idea of extending the cultural expression at your wedding. Check out sites like monarch-garments.com and kaneesha.com where you'll find traditional Sherwani garments, Nehru shirts and colorful embroidered shirts. Here are a few additional sites and looks to help you shop and make your shirt choice.

1. Pink Half Silk Shirt, kaneesha.com
2. Magenta Half Silk Mens Shirt, kaneesha.com
3. Nehru shirt, proidee.co.uk
4. White Nehru Collar Shirt, fantasywaistcoats.co.uk

Q. My fiance used to work in a tux rental store and believes that silver vests and ties look the best against black tuxes for his groomsmen.  I would like the bridesmaids to wear black dresses with bright pink flowers.  I also want the best man to wear a different color tie, preferably royal blue, and the maid of honor to wear a bright pink dress.  My bouquet would have a mixture of white, blue, and pink flowers.  Is it okay to have that many colors in the wedding?
- Tux Distress

A. It’s up to you how much cohesion you want with the color choices at your wedding. There are no longer hard and fast rules for a wedding. It just helps the unavoidable gossip mill when your wedding looks elegant and sophisticated.   Keep the silver vests for the groomsman to a low shine factor and err on the side of a shade closer to platinum.

Have you discussed with the maid of honor her thoughts on a bright pink dress? With the addition of carrying pink flowers, will she feel like a big piece of candy?  I love pink, but I guarantee you I never wore the dress from my brother's first wedding again. We all like to think we’ve been smart enough to choose a dress that our bridesmaids will be able to wear again, but they may think differently once they’ve seen your choice.  Will one bright pink dress and one royal blue tie be the ideal way to pull in all your colors?  What about having your maid of honor wear a more fabulous black dress compared to the other bridesmaids? Make hers long while the others wear cocktail length or have them or her wear a bright pink ribbon with the dress. I’d suggest a pale pink metallic strappy heel or silver heel with the black dresses to add a pop of color.

Q. I love your column! My boyfriend and I recently got engaged, and although I've been to tons of weddings, I'm so clueless about what to choose for my own bridesmaids. We're planning the wedding for early September, and although I've always wanted my girls to be dressed in yellow (I love the color), I'm worried that it's too summery for early fall in Canada. Also, we were thinking of using navy blue as a complimentary color, and we’re wondering if that would be a good choice since many sites that we have visited have said to use a pale green or purple with yellow, but I'm not very fond of those options. Finally, would silver or gold be better for accessories and shoes? I'm leaning towards silver, but my sister, who is my maid of honor, is petitioning for gold. Thanks so much for your help!
-Uncertain

A. As long as you choose a dress that isn’t too revealing or summery in style, then yellow will be fine for early September as your color choice. I agree with your sister’s petition for gold accessories since it will match better with the warm, bright yellow. Silver will seem mismatched and too much of a contrast. Or, you could choose a satin navy for your shoe choice as a great punch to the dress choice. I’m not a big fan of purple while navy will help add a strong, conservative and classic hue to the Fall wedding. Just choose a yellow that will work with all your girls' skin tones. Yellow can make pale girls look even more washed out and even sickly. Perhaps adding one band of color on the dress or wearing gold heels will help. And there’s always tinted moisturizer.

This Whitney silk faille dress from jcrew.com is shown with regal blue heels which lend a sassy touch. Add a ribbon band around the waist of the dress to add additional color.

$250 at jcrew.com

Q. I need help to figure out what type and color of shoes to wear as a bridesmaid for a beach wedding in Key West.  My dress is a tangerine color and is from JCrew.
-Tangerine Dream

A. Beach weddings are always tough in the sandal department. We all want to look our best and heels guarantee a good looking leg, but sand impedes that choice. The other way to look at it is you get to be more casual and dance barefoot. So before you kick off your sandals and go barefoot for the reception, choose a flat fancy sandal with a little gold embellishment.

1. Mystique 1919, $130 at piperlime.com
2. Nine West Rosmarie, $82.95 at zappos.com

Q. My bridesmaids are going to be wearing this dress, but in the Sangria color at my wedding.  The color looks just like a ripe raspberry in person.  I want to let the girls buy/wear their own shoes, but I have NO idea what color to pick!  Any suggestions?  I thought about a bronze heel, but I'm a bit clueless when it comes to this kind of thing.

-Clueless about Color

A. Pretty dress choice. If you choose an optional bow or ribbon, you can have the bridesmaids wear shoes that match the accessory. Otherwise, a metallic bronze, silver or gold would look lovely. Choose the color, but let them buy a heel that works for them, not everyone can walk in towering heels. Plus, every girl has a different cash flow so while one may find a fab heel from Jimmy Choo another may be happy with a find at Payless.