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Q. I am turning 35 next month and consider myself to be fairly hot (for my age - ha!). I would like to find a backless dress. It seems like since I’ve been looking for a backless dress, I cannot find one - of course. Any ideas on where I can get one without spending a fortune?
-Bare Back

A. Adore a girl that has great self-confidence. One tip when choosing a backless dress: avoid anything too short or too tight - showing TOO much skin is never chic.

Bare that back at your birthday in one of these hot dresses:

Holly Toya Dress with Twist Rope BackLaROK Joyce Dress in CreamAlice + Olivia Paris DressRag & Bone Silk Mini Dress

1. Holly Toya Dress with Twist Rope Back, $185 at couturecandy.com
2. LaROK Joyce Dress in Cream, $187 at couturecandy.com
3. Alice + Olivia Paris Dress, $231 at shopbop.com
4. Rag & Bone Silk Mini Dress, $231 at shopbop.com

Q. I’m getting married on a Saturday night in December. I already have my dress - it’s by Amsale and it’s long, simple and elegant. However, I love clothes and fashion and I plan to change into another dress after dinner. I’m looking for something very fashion forward, not trendy, but more of-the-moment than a regular wedding dress. I definitely want the second dress to be white (or ivory / off white) and short so that it’s great for dancing and moving around in. I also would like to be able to wear it again if possible. It doesn’t have to be a wedding dress from a wedding dress designer, especially since I don’t want to pay wedding dress prices (already did that once!). Do you have any suggestions for dresses or designers that may make the type of dress I’m looking for?
-Dress to Dance

A. Glad you plan to have genuine fun at your wedding! Too many brides look back years later and can’t remember the food or dancing since they spent so much time going table to table to say hi to plenty of relatives and parents’ friends they rarely see or know. Eat, drink, dance and be merry. Make the grand impression in your wedding dress, get the photos taken care of, mingle and eat the dinner you painstakingly chose. Then change into a shorter fabulous dress and dance the night away with your new husband and friends.

These dresses will work on the dance floor, at another affair and keep you cool indoors:

BCBG Max Azria Lace Empire Mini DressRobert Rodriguez Ruffled Silk DressBCBG Max Azria 'D Esprit' Trimmed Point Strapless DressCarmen Marc Valvo Pleated Chiffon Cocktail DressBCBG Max Azria Strapless Appliqué DressCarmen Marc Valvo Sequin Lace Dress

1. BCBG Max Azria Lace Empire Mini Dress, $400 at saks.com
2. Robert Rodriguez Ruffled Silk Dress, $396 at neimanmarcus.com
3. BCBG Max Azria ‘D Esprit’ Trimmed Point Strapless Dress, $440 at nordstrom.com
4. Carmen Marc Valvo Pleated Chiffon Cocktail Dress, $565 at saks.com
5. BCBG Max Azria Strapless Appliqué Dress, $396 at nordstrom.com
6. Carmen Marc Valvo Sequin Lace Dress, $568 at nordstrom.com

Q. I am invited to a yacht party that is also a first date. What do I wear? Do I wear wedge heels or flip-flops? Cargo capris?
-Boat Wear

skip the super casual garb and put on something a little dressierA. The word yacht brings up images of wealth, status, and certainly better clothes than flip flips and cargo capris. So skip the super casual garb and put on something a little dressier like a skirt and cute top with wedge sandals or white pants and a striped top and metallic flats or even a lightweight summer dress and sandals. And remember, a first date is the only time you get to make a good first impression so it is always best to dress up a bit rather than go schlumpy. Leave the cargo carpris for a sporty active date.

Q. My husband and I were recently married in a very small ceremony in Hawaii and afterwards spent our honeymoon visiting a few islands. Now that we’re back with family and friends and starting our lives together, we want to throw a big backyard party that’s casual and inexpensive as our substitute reception. Please help us with ideas.
-Party Potential

A. Extend the environment you enjoyed at your wedding and have a luau party with your friends and family. Send out invites that show the theme and ask guests to dress for a Hawaiian party. (Of course, be ready for plenty of bad, loud shirts on the men, but that’s part of the fun!)

Create a menu that is easy to prepare. Look for foods you can make a day or few days ahead of time and marinate pork, chicken and other meat the night before; it will be a little less expensive than serving fish. Put someone in charge of the BBQ duty so you and your new husband can enjoy the party. For dessert, carve a large watermelon into a basket shape and fill scooped out space with fresh fruit like pineapple, mango and of course watermelon. Instead of cake and pie, serve fuss-free cupcakes. If you choose to make the food yourselves, rather than hire a caterer, then consider hiring a bartender/server(s) to help serve food and drinks. They can usually be found at local cooking or bartending schools for about $20-25 and hour.

Have games like a limbo stick ready and give the girls and guys fake grass skirts to wear while dancing. There are plenty of string lights, tiki torches, servingware and party accessories to pull together a fun, affordable luau theme event to help extend the celebration of your wedding. Create a music play list of beach songs, traditional hula music, and add in the theme of Hawaii 5-O.

The invites (from finestationery.com):

Checkerboard SanLori Designs

For the table (from plumparty.com):

hula honey' cocktail napkins multi-colored plastic palm tree glasses - set of 6  Merchant2 Graphics Products Large 15198

Set the scene (umbrella cover from target.com):

Nylon Umbrella Cover

Hang tiki lights and hand out leis and hula skirts to complete the luau atmosphere. And have fun!

Q: I love your site and know that since my question involves your home city, you will have all kinds of great ideas. I will be in New York City for my honeymoon from November 11-16. My fiance and I would appreciate any ideas on what to wear. We plan to do some shopping while we’re there, but want to look fashionable and still be comfortable and weather-appropriate while shopping and touring the city. What would work for walking around Central Park/the city? Going to the theater? We would also love any particular recommendations you’d have for wear to go, eat, etc. Thanks!
- New York Bound Bride-to-be

A. These are my favorite questions to answer since they have to do with my favorite place in the world-my home, New York City. Since it’s November, the weather can sometimes be unpredictable. I am usually enjoying my last days of playing tennis outdoors and still riding my bike with a fleece pullover. So bring a jacket, some sweaters and pull out your chic low heeled boots for walking around the city. Skip the athletic sneakers and pack a stylish pair of Pumas, Adidas or Converse for days when you’ll really want to explore the city. Add peep toe heels or a fab pair of pumps for evening. Pack dark jeans, a few sweaters, a jacket (not a coat-it’s too early) or a belted trench that hits just below the knee so it’s perfect for dresses and skirts (I love my Burberry trench-it was a well-worth-it investment piece), a few pairs of pants, a dress for dinners out, a day dress that can be worn with tights and low heeled boots for a day of shopping around the city, a skirt that will work with several tops and layering pieces, a white button down shirt, a great belt to wear with pants or belted around a dress, and accessories like an Hermes scarf (or something like it) and jewelry. Your husband should definitely pack a sport coat for some dinners and to wear to a Broadway show or other events plus a few sweaters including one he can wear under the sport coat.

For shopping:

Uptown/Midtown - Check out the high prices and finesse of New York’s favorite department stores with a stroll through Barneys on Madison Avenue and Bergdorf’s on Fifth.

For a short shopping spree and lunch, head to the Meatpacking district and weave up and down 12th through 14th between Gansevoort and Washington. Stop by Stella McCartney and Jeffrey’s. Have lunch at Son Cubano, Nero or Markt for mussels and Belgium fries or a piece of pie at the Little Pie Company. Or, have a drink at the chic Hotel Gansevoort.

SoHo is easy to navigate and has become the closest we get to an outdoor mall with everything from boutiques like Scoop and Olive & Bettes to known shops like Anthropologie and Prada. Stop at Dos Caminos for margaritas and made to order guacamole.

NoLIta and Lower East Side are the “of the moment” places to shop (although we New Yorkers have known about it for years) so head east from SoHo and wander into the little boutiques in search of something hip and chic to purchase.

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