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Q. I’m 15 years younger than my husband.  We both work out and are fit.  His son is getting married - afternoon wedding.  The bride and I are very close.  She said she doesn’t care what I wear to the wedding.  My concern is that I want to look elegant but not draw too much attention to myself from my attire.  The ex-wife is much heavier than I am, and also 20 years older.  I’m struggling finding the appropriate attire.  A beaded suit is not me at all, yet I don’t feel a black little dress is appropriate.  I’m a very outgoing upbeat person — any advice on what I should wear?
-Formal and Fretting 

A. You’re fit and fabulous and there’s no reason to look dowdy or play it safe and be a wallflower.  Weddings are a girl’s chance to dress up, heck, we just don’t get enough opportunities during the week to pull on a gorgeous dress. And don’t worry about drawing attention—all eyes will be on the bride, everyone else is just an afterthought when we all compare what we’re wearing. So look good in a dress and heels.   I scoured the stores and came up with options that are elegant and sophisticated without being daring.  You can stand proud and know that you look good, but are not making a statement.

72366 Bl7778 Su06 M

J Crew Avery silk short cross-back dress
(available in many colors)
$195 at

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Maggy London Halter Dress with Charmeuse Waist
$160 at


Anne Klein Dress Silk Georgette Dress
$220 at


Anne Klein Dress Charmeuse Waist Dress
$210 at

Q.  I’m getting married in September and I’m a little stuck on my bridesmaid’s colors. We ordered their dresses because we thought the dresses were hot pink, however they are more of a fuchsia. My colors are hot pink, light pink and a summer green. What do I do about the dresses being fuchsia? I soooo don’t know what to do and I’m freaking out.  I already bought some hot pink stuff and the flower girl…..her skirt is hot pink.
-Pretty in Pink, Pink and More Pink 

A. Wow, you really love pink. If you can’t exchange the dresses, stop fretting.  The freaking out will only consume you, bug your fiancé and upset your bridesmaids.  I understand and empathize with your problem - biggest day of your life and all - but remember it’s about you and your fiancé getting married and spending your lives together, not the colors matching.  You can’t make your bridesmaids buy new dresses. If all the bridesmaids have the same color on, it will look like you intended to have them wear fushchia-one more shade of pink. Say you just couldn’t get enough of all shades of pink. If guest or family member makes a comment, say there was a little snafu, but you just let it roll off your shoulders to enjoy the important experience.  And if you want to change something, then get a different skirt for the flower girl.

Q. I have a semi-formal evening wedding to which I am wearing a knee length black and white skirt and black formal halter top.  It’s in the South at a country club. Do I have to wear hose with my sandal? What kind of sandals would you suggest?
-Clueless Dresser 

A. Skip the hose. Stylish southerners know that when the heat is on, hose just makes y’all sticky and constricted.  Choose a mid to high heel to give the appearance of having longer legs.  And certainly with hotter temperatures and it being a festive occasion, go for a strappy black or silver sandal with perhaps extra details like satin fabric, a small bow or even a few small rhinestones.  And get yourself a pretty pedicure in a soft nail color—no blaring reds.

Q. I am the matron of honor for my best friend’s up and coming wedding.  I would like to know if it is appropriate or inappropriate for me to wear a cream color dress with silver/blue trim for the rehearsal dinner.  Please help…I have been struggling with this decision. Thank you for any help or advice that you can give me.
-Dress Stress

A. Why are you fretting?  It sounds like you’ve taken careful consideration by choosing an elegant dress for the rehearsal dinner.  Slip on the dress, accessories and a gorgeous smile and enjoy the dinner.

66126 Gr7216Q. I’m attending a friend’s beach wedding in Australia this May.  I will be wearing the J Crew Grace Silk Faille dress in lime green.  My friend said it will be a lagoon setting so I should wear dressy flats or low heeled sandals.  Any recommendations on a good pair of shoes to wear with my particular dress?
-Wearin’ it low

A. Since you’re sticking to a low heel or flat, I’d suggest looking for a gold sandal and perhaps something with details like beading to keep the whole outfit looking festive for the wedding.

3832-212899-DKate Spade Boisterous
$298.95 at

1733-173970-DNicole Miller Fedora
$123.95 at

3034-237270-DPelle Moda Cadee sandals
$115.95 at

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